You Could Hear Someone Yelling.

I just started thinking the other day that maybe Ponyboy and Johnny didn't actually kill the Social just for the fun of it. Maybe it was for something like revenge or self-defence- because I don't think that they have the guts or such a black heart to. I could never do it- and I'm tougher than Pony and Johnny put together. And if the thought of them doing it 'under gun point' you could say- is what's helping Sodapop get through all of this- than it's better than nothing.

But today I looked at through another perspective.

Johnny has been though so much in his life- even a percentage of it is something that no one should be forced to go through in their entire life. His parents don't care for him- always putting him down and kicking him out of the house. He's always sleeping on our couch or in the empty lots on warm nights. And with all of these unfortunate memories- comes a lot of hard, cold emotions. He's very quiet and he has such dark eyes as you'd never see in the toughest jailbirds. He has a nervous, suspicious look in his eyes, and they never have any feeling in them.

What if he had enough with the Socs- and went away with it all with one swift movement?

And so now I'm trapped in between two choices. Pondering whether they are guilty of first degree murder- or they didn't kill him under their own will.

Soda and I are trying to regain our normal life patterns and waiting for Pony to come back when it's the appropriate time. Being patient is the key- but just because we miss him so much, Soda sent him a letter a few days ago. I read it, and it mainly talked about how he couldn't believe that Johnny could kill somebody, how he wanted for them to turn themselves in and how they were famous in the newspapers.

Big articles everyday on how the fuzz trying to find them and how they have no idea where they are. They're thick. No question about it.

So anyway, gotta run cause Soda wants his chocolate cake.